Monday, June 29, 2009

Back in Action

Rats. So much has happened I am not blogging "journaling" about it or taking pictures but I do want to recap. We went to the lake in May. It was a lot of fun, I got to go up early with Dad and Julie and I ALWAYS love to be with them. Julie is my best friend and my Dad, well what can I say he is my best Dad. Jules got some good pictures here are just a few that I got! We had lots of fun, but the very most fun was just hanging out and playing games. One night we stayed up in into the wee hours talking with Butch and Julie. All day one day we played games, it was nice to be with family.

Then in June just a few weeks ago. We got to go to the Whiting homestead and stay in the cabin. I didn't even get 1 picture there but this time I have to say we had way to much fun playing adult games....because we didn't have to do much kid watching! The play on their own and with each other. They play in the sand, in the woods, in the little playground area, on the porch and just get DIRTY while we played some mean games of bowling ball crochet (that was fun, Dallas was really dirty, and it was fun to watch Julie and him play it out). We played a mean game of wiffle ball (Butch has some moves), and some horseshoe games that I couldn't throw my way. It was a nice time. Now if we can just get the Davis' together once in awhile!

The girls went from this room (taking one of their "rests" throughout the day). To this room. Our "Landlords" cleaned out this bedroom and now they always want to sleep in there. (CANT GET THE PICTURES TO UPLOAD WILL DO LATER)

And I have to say Sydney is growing into the such a good girl and helper. She listens, she helps, she is kind, she is loving. I tell Kenady to clean up her mess and Syd jumps up and says, "Sometime she helps me so I help her", and cleans it all. Kenady punches Syd in the face (I think) and I come over and say oh no, looks like Kenady has to go inside, Sydney lovingly says, "Sometimes I hit her and so she hits me", looks at my face and says, "what I think I mean is nothing happened here, everything is OK, come on Kenady we'd better get to the mud." She didn't want Kenady in trouble. She is a really good girl trying to do what is right!

Kenady well what can I say, terrible two's anyone. I clean more now then I ever have and it is usually me and her cleaning her messes! But she is spunky, fun, and a little Phoebeish (off of Friends). We love her!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

If I could only imagine

Tonight. All my kids are in bed. Dallas is asleep on the couch. I took some time to write to my missionary brothers. Then I posted. I read blogs. I read about loss. I remorse.

When my Mom died. I was okay. When we planned the funeral, I was okay. When we had the service, I was kind of okay. When I have gone to her grave, I am okay. For her birthday and Mother's day, I was okay. I think there are a few reasons. Heavenly Father knew how emotional I would be with pregnancy hormones and I had a protective sheet around me (I really think that). I knew that Kaden was with my Mom. I knew that my Mom needed some rest, she needed a break and this place, this Paradise where she now resides, is unthinkable. And my Mom deserves it! She is with Grandma S., Grandpa W., Nan, Aunt Pam, Uncle Steve. Their reunion was sweet. I could feel it.

Now it's been almost five months, five months without a Mom. If I could only imagine. It is harder for me now then it was then. It seems to get harder every day. I can't see her but I know that she can see me. I think I am writing this because I want her to know how much I love her. That days turn to weeks into months and it doesn't change that I miss her. I want her to know that I am grateful she is there, I know she can help all of our family more there then she could have here, and I still miss her. I want her to know that she is an unyielding and welding link in our family. She is the reason we had family trips, and we will continue to have those family trips in memory of her, we will carry those traditions on, and we will still miss you (we know you are close). We will serve others & take out time to have spiritual thoughts, in memory of you, because of you. We will listen, we will have sympathy for others who are struggling, and we will still miss you.

I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for our Savior, Jesus Christ, and realize that I can't comprehend the anguish they felt. and I can rejoice in the plan of Happiness. I will see my mom again because of Them. If I could only imagine!

Things you should know...about me, us. Right now

I have to tell you. I have not been able to go to church because of the newborn thing, but today I got to go to all three hours and I can just feel a difference. I can literally feel it. The way I act towards my kids, my outlook on life. It is amazing how much difference it can make. When I feel how huge the difference is it makes me want to be and do so much better, so I am starting a new goal tomorrow and just trying to do everything right and not waste time on things like t.v. There is just way to much to do :) heheee.

Do you ever worry about the future? I know crazy question, especially now but really how is it for you? Do you prepare for the end or just keep going, go to college, get a car, save up for food storage and the family vacation, or should we be buying a milk cow? It is just so crazy. I go to class and here all about the end, and how it is going to get worse and then to have hope and I get nervous! But I know I just need to have faith and do what I am told, which totally on food storage! yikes :) I can do it I can do it I can do it!

We just bought a new car. Nothing to fancy, Dallas has been looking for 6 months for something that fit our new family a little better but we had to have cheap, cheap, cheap. So we finally found it and it was way cheaper then everything else. It is a navigator. It is pretty pimp'n, I think. :) but in a humble way. But I am glad to have another car that is not the gas hog truck and we should keep this for a long, long, time. Well see! Dallas you are the man, pure awesomeness right there! He is good at everything he does even picking out cars! Who knew that was a talent someone could posses.

Not to much else is new. Kaden keeps me busy. He doesn't like to sleep very much during the day so he is with me quite a lot. In a lot of ways that is good. It means that I have less time to do other things and more time to be with the kids. Because of my vinyl sometimes they just get to run wild so it is nice to spend some one-on-one time with them.. I have really had the feeling, well of course its more then a feeling, we all know that as parents we are responsible for teaching our children but I feel like I might have neglected some of my teaching so I am trying to find every opportunity I can to teach my kiddos about the gospel and life and how to be a responsible citizen. I hope I am doing my best!

Dallas gets a little bit of golf in here and there and I know he really enjoys that break. his mind works to fast and to long, I think he just needs a break to relax. The kids are hilarious as always. Sydney is growing into a big helpful girl. She is nice and wants to be loved. I am really impressed with her lately. And Kenady she is now the ball of fire. She is kinda like a phoebe off of Friends. She is happy and funny and determined.